This is what I do when I'm bored. I should be studying right?
Hey girls, it's Sunday. I'm pissed/mad/confused/sad/odd. I'm sorry Mei, I promise on Tuesday I'll post something happy. But today, I feel like utter sh*t. It's rather pathetic or sadistic(Ha ha Yuna's words). I'm so stupid for following my instinct. I should have never waited for someone that is so perfect and unbelievable sexy and have great personality. Sounds like a commercial, ain't it? Hell, it's true.
I feel so stupid I want to punch my head with a door knob.
I can't be bothered about my studies. I really need inspiration and more motivation. Good god, I can't believe that my school has been selected the best for SPM blah blah in Selangor. It made me so scared to sit for my SPM. I'm more confused now than ever. I really should have just ignore everything around me and focus. I need my mother this instant. I need my friends to support me but I'm the one who have been there for them and none of them have been there for me. Yeah, I know I'm just nobody around them because usually I'm always happy and cheerful in school so I bet nobody thought that I might be slightly confused with my own self. Slightly unbalanced.
I got three failed papers now. I'm freaking scared. I know, I still have more time to prepare for this exam but I don't get it.. Why everybody can answered this paper without any hesitation/panic moments. I panicked. I frigging panicked. My adrenaline rush is on top of my lungs. I love adrenaline rush but during exams I got blurred quite easily and it's not good. I can't answered those questions properly.
I really don't get it. Why in the world would he acts that somehow I'm like his second bitch. Am I missing something here? Can't you just say it to my face that you like/hate me. I have been so stupid when I'm around you. I can't be upset when I'm around you. The aura of yours made me so happy that I can sleep with my eyes open. This is confusing. All this bullshit. All this nonsense. Go away, please.
My parents expecting me to get a scholarship. How in the world am I going to get a scholarship when I've been playing around a lot. God, help me.
I've been playing my guitar for quite sometime and I just realised that I love to sing and I would really love to compose a song. I made it sound stupid though. I can't go to anything that related to science because it's not my calling. Seriously. And I never been into numbers and numbers.Well yeah, I don't know what to do? It's just so confuse. Plus, I'm not exposed to real world. I've been into virtual world, always. It's confusing when I have to face the real world that made me feel like I'm so small and stupid.
If I keep on pressing this keypad I might never stop. This post is really long. I might delete this later. Maybe. Yes. No. This is depressing. I should just stop here.
Sorry girls. I just need to let it out.
2 comments:
Babe, chill. I know how you feel about the sholarship thing but you shouldn't pressure yourself too much, yano. And, we're here for you mannn. And don't freak out about your SPM. I seriously know you can do it. Even my dad says you're clever!
So, yeah. Have faith, love :)
aww :') I feel like crying. (haha emosi lebih)
well. I don't know man. It feels different than before. With my dad always outstation tak tentu arah. My stepmom pushing me. Annoying school friends. And my mom in Perth and not here supporting (well she's coming back in June/July tp lmbt lagi!). I feel like breaking down into million effing pieces. And I can't bare to stay home and study. I don't know. I'm confuse. Oh my god, I should just stop typing lahhhh -_-"
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