Turn the frown, upside down.

Shall we?

Gastric and fever have been attacking since Tuesday morning. I'm dying slowly on my deathbed. And I'm in need of virtual hugs and Cadbury or anything at all that could make me warm and happy and moody-free.

I'm in a complete confusion where I don't know who to trust, who to go for, who to go with. I am now with nobody to trust, nobody to go for, nobody to go with. You know how does that feel? I tend to be sad nowadays.

I just wish, I wish somebody or something could cheer me up for the rest of my life. Wishing that I don't have or I don't have to encounter all these sad memories ever again. And, I wish I could transform to my old self again, I wish all these unwanted stuff have never happened. Like I said, I WISH. My wishes rarely and hardly comes true.

I usually lie on my bed, restlessly, thinking about the things that have happened for the past few days, weeks, months, that describes the word SAD. I'm not the optimist that I used to be. I have revolved into a pessimist. A pessimist that thinks their au courant life is not even worth it. I mean, nothing is meaningful now. Naught at all.

May I be merrier, Amin.

♥ Aisyah H.

Hello Wednesday

I should be posting up the video but it's taking an awesome long time to upload.

Today was sane. Acceptably sane even with the insanes being .... insane? Annoyed the crap out of me but those kind of people just do those kind of stuff don't they? But I am so so so so so so so so so so SO grateful to have incredible friends. The best friends and those circling around me.

A few posts ago it was just in the first days of April and now we're near to May already. I should start playing basketball in the evenings again. It's just that I don't really have anyone to go with :( And I should start revising everyday since Mid Term is on the 20th and then on the 25th/26th I'm going to Perth to stay with my eldest sister for about 3 weeks. hehehehe.

And there goes May :/

psst, my birthday is on this Sunday :P

Torrible Tuesday

This is my second post for today. I guess I'm a little excited 'cause the internet is still here after I got home today. Hella for the internetz!

Oh girls, I think I am cursed on Tuesday. It's a Torrible(horrible) Tuesday I tell you. My table mate didn't come to school today and we have like a lot of homework to be due by today and a pop quiz on history for chapter four(which I did not study for). I can tell you that, I am not, not literally, in a stable mood. Mood swings? I don't really know. But sometimes I can be quite hyperactive and I love to make people laugh. It calms me down. What the..

Moving on. I'm just typing anything up, not to think of any idea or main topic for Tuesday but yeah I really hope you girls are having the time of your life like I am now. I'm just dealing with mid term pressure. My mid term starts on 14th of May and I am not ready, at all.

And I love Zac Efron.

I need my schedule to be loosen up a bit because I so tired of the extra classes unconditionally set and home tuition. And internetz craze. I need to stop dreaming and put the dream on action! I need more motivation! I need.. I need him!

I need my mother and I need to be alive.

And I don't think I have a permanent ambition. So that's all from me girls. I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Please leave me a comment and I'll send you a virtual hugs xD toodles!

I can talk and walk

I'm using the internet on Tuesday morning at 00:35 hours. Boy, I am tired.

I love the feeling of getting text messages. I'm confused, yet again. I love my life and I love me. I can be more complex than you think. I can ignore you and make you laugh all night long. I love the way you make faces to me every time we met. It's just that I can't be feeling this anymore. I'm through with this phase.

Whoa, emotional much?

What's new in my life.. I made a new friend. I laugh all the time when I'm in school. I'm suck at focusing. I sing for fun. I've been a lazy bum.

I miss my mother.

room.

Last Saturday was kick ass. I'm still sad I missed Kat's performance. Sorry girls!

My room's current state looks like someone attacked it. Someone unleashed WWIII and made NO SURVIVORS their motto. Haha. Yes, it's that messy.

Apart from that I'm in a standstill. It's like I'm stuck here waiting. Waiting for what? I'm not sure myself. I just feel like I am. Like somethings going to destruct itself anytime soon.

17days. And maybe that's what I'm waiting for (?)

I love my dear old daddy

I have no idea what I want to tell you girls. My week has been absolute unpredictable! It was great and there's also the ups and downs going on but I'm holding on. I'm out of time to be online. Got to go xoxo

P/S: I promise you to update more next weekend.

On Top

wooooo I'm just so happy about the BOTB! We did it! Syaza, Kat and I did it! My voice didn't crack. And no one boo-ed!

I'll post the video later when I get back the video camera from Syaza ;)

Oh purple bruise

Bad isn't it? I got it when I was playing volleyball last week. At first, I didn't notice it turning purple until that particular place felt sore when I touched it. So, well, my hand is purple and I like looking at it. Yes, wierd, I know. Hehe. Oh well. I easily get injuries when I play any form of sports.

Mmmmm, so Aisyah and Syaza came over to practice for tomorrow's BOTB. Damn, wish us luck! We didn't tell anyone except Ellya what song we were performing because its a surprise for everyone. But even so, Ellya doesn't know what has changed. Only the people in my house know *evil grin* Oh! Mei's coming, so hooray! =D

Right, seeing as TTJ has been dry, girls, here's a question for you:
What was/is the worst bruise/injury you've had so far?
Mesti ada punya. Haha.

Cheers, Khadijah.

Disoriented state.

I don't understand. I don't understand a lot of stuff lately.

Sometimes, it seems like I'm trapped in a black hole. No exits to be seen and no entrance to be found. No where to runaway. In a godforsaken perlieu and sod, crying for mercy. Wailing won't do any good either. I own a right bare hand and the left, accompanied by a pocket knife. Or.. would it be more prominent to substitute those for a pen and paper?

There. I lay, formulating my thoughts and engraving my heart on to a piece of paper. I see nothing. I see a void instead of my aesthetic etchings. Am I hallucinating? I don't fancy day dreaming. Not at all. A literal world is what I cherish most. Or am I lost? Lost in my own wraith territory..

-Phonyskinter

♥ Aisyah H.

What's up y'all? :D

I just finished the last papers of Test 2 today. For the first time I finally felt calm during tests. Except for Maths of course. I hate the fact that I still suck at it eventhough I like Maths. hmm.

YO!
My birthday is in eleven days!
It's hard to believe it's already near.

jodoh yang tidak tentu

The best 6 weeks and 8 days spent in my whole entire life with a person.

You're amazing..
And that's one reason why I can't let go.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am a lost of words. This could probably be the hardest point in my 18 year old life.

Or someone would tell me there's more to come. I don't really know. But right now, I don't think I ever had to be in this place. To actually watch the right person walk into your life and then.. walk out the next minute.

To top it all off the person decides they want to make you hate them so it'd be easier for you to move on. When actually, it makes the situation even more hard than it is.

Life tanks. We still go on anyway.

Still alive :-P

I really can't wait to watch 17 Again! HIHIHIHI 8-B (Look! Zac Efron is so cute HA HA)

Hello girls, it's Zunday Zara.

Monday --> Hella awesome. Another day of giggling and drooling. Check!
Tuesday --> Horrible as usual. I think I am cursed on Tuesday, holy. Tennis tournament for single players. I lost, how typical. I can't seem to pass the nervous/panic in my head and heart. Pshh, move over Tuesday!
Wednesday --> Tennis tournament for double players. I teamed up very well with Azreen. We lose at Semi Final and 3rd place in hand! I looked quite tensed when I played, darn. Anyway, Wednesday was so-so.
Thursday --> Annoyed with _____.
Friday --> *cricket cricket*
Saturday --> CRAZY AS HELL! Biology extra class turns out to be a playground for me and my friends. We annoyed everybody hahahahahhahahaha it was so fun. I laughed and smiled. And it was okay. Well, I really can't put any words together.

Well, I'm in no mood of blogging now. I still feel somehow empty inside. I'm figuring things out. Toodles!

Yeah yeah, I'm red-handed

"Update ke, dengar lagu?"

Yeah, yeah. I know I'm wrong. Needn't be harsh you know. I know you wish I'd disappear don't you?

No words.

I don't feel like typing anything out.

and i still crumble at your name.

Zara ♥

I don't know what or how to feel right now. Since Y has to leave me to return to his country. There's a 99.9% chance he's not coming back here. It didn't help that when I drew a ): on a yellow post it note, flashed it at him through the webcam and he told me back:

): too, mei

I almost cried. Twice.
It's really hard for me right now. Since I really like this boy and he's a lot of things I'd like in a person. And he looks so fucking sexy in flannel. And his smile melts my heart. However, I can't be selfish and not let him pursue his long life dream/ambitions. I can't hold him back..

Geez, I feel like Ross or Rachel in friends right now.

who says I'm not happy?

And so I've gone a little wild...

How I spent my weekdays without the internet. I rather poke my eyes than read school books. Kidding. So, I had so much going on in a week. The tears came in late Wednesday, as cue of heartbroken. I'm okay now. Quite happy now, maybe.

Oh also, I can't stop thinking about b-boy. How wierd is that?

Girls! we need to upbeat ourselves. Stop with the negativity and life's too short to be miserable, aye? And btw where's Kat?

4,3,2,1. I'll let go if you let go.

I should really be doing my art homework.
I have a lot and I shouldn't be procrastinating! My old habits they die hard. I'll get to them after this. I promise myself now.

TTJ has been really slow. I hope we pick up pace soon. Please don't give up girls and remember our blog isn't always about being happy or perky things, we are after all 5 girls. Even if we are sad, we should write about them. We should inspire other girls to be stronger about their challanges in life as well. That's what TTJ stands for: Fitting in but never quite fits either. You know?

I've been through the roughest points of my life right now. Nothing I had to go through before this in my shit high school drama driven life can compare to what I am facing right now. I'm not trying to scare anyone. I'm just being honest. Decisions need to be made and please I can tell you this: Make them wisely. Listen to yourself 1st before anyone else. It's what you want, not others.

Matters of the heart are even harder. Especially for a heart like mine. So afraid of being hurt and so skeptic of the person I want to give it to. I don't do well in these things. I don't think I can go through this. What's this? This is Being vunerable. Being hurt. Being ready to open yourself to harsh reality of the world. Being able to care for another person as they are apart from you. I know I know nothing about these things, I am only 18. I still have so much more to learn.

I haven't change my mind about that you can learn at every age. I think you learn everyday. And you never stop learning. Especially not for me. I've been learning since I was 1 year old. I'm still learning now. I'll still be learning when I'm 20.

I hope you girls are all going to be strong. And I maybe emotionally unstable (occasionally) but I'll always be here as the big buffalo imaginary big sister most of you probably don't have. Or not. Hah

See you next Monday, loves.

Mei ♥

A translucent-self

I don't think the lively feelings still exist in this Internet world. I want to apologize for not posting anything on Thursday. Nothing interesting flew into my mind. I feel opaque. So now, I'm currently stuck in a library in MRSM Perlis with my sibs-- just us, alone. I don't really adore the library excluding the fact that it's air conditioned. So yeah. And I'm reading some book I snatched off the shelf and it seems it had been abandoned ever since 1990. Anyways, I don't think I have much to share. So, that's alll for now.

♥ Aisyah H.

TTJ?

Where is everybody? :-(

P/S: Girls, I'll post something later xoxo

00:14 hours on Wednesday

I am surrounded with negativity. negative words coming from a lot of peoples' mouths. and it's annoying. Hello, have a good Wednesday :)

Oh. My. God.
I have discovered someone that sounds exactly like Squidward! and she is a teacher!
it's pure torture to have to listen to her speak. being me, I couldn't stop laughing my head off. and it is not healthy. she is a teacher for goodness sake. and I'm having my PMR. sheittt :S

my week's filled with pure love. lovely conversations with very dear and close friends and food and love. haha. well, I can't help it :P

dayumm man. I've always adored dancers.

and I know that I'd be fine,
if I have you :)

speechless for once.

It's Monday and...

I'm still lost of words right now. Things are getting better. If anyone ever tells you finding your other half easy, I swear I need a nice punch from me. It's fucking hard! I'm not lying.

College's pretty awesome. Tiring but awesome.

Will post more details on the weekend. I promisee!

Mei Monday's xx

Nothin' special yo

I found this picture from a blogger and she's very talented, I'm inspired even.

So, I can't help myself from not posting during Sundays. I love Sundays. But today-- Tennis training, 3 hours long of Additional Mathematics home tuition and two hours of facts and complex sentences in Biology term demanded by my teacher is utterly exhausting. If I'm not getting good grades then seriously... I have a major problem. Ha ha.

My school had our Hari Sukan on Friday and it was.. very.. well.. different than what I experienced last year. Har har. The fact that I had fun shouting "Go Merah! Go! Sikit lagi! Go!" and taking pictures at the same time is amazingly fun. I saw my seniors. There's so much I want to include here but it's unnecessary. Overall, it was a great day. And yeah, physic's tuition got cancel later on and that made my day. Hahaha can't help myself to type that down.

Girls, I challenge you to post a picture of a name sign to someone you love :-)

Clean Slate

push away all the unhappy thoughts and throw away the unhappy tears. April just might be a whole another story than March. that is, if you want it to. when you set your mind straight, you really have a bigger chance to get things your way. rather than frowning and constantly reassuring if you're good enough, go ahead, DO IT. do it the way you want it to be done. forget the things that are keeping you down. erm, buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih? hehe :P

my March was awesomeeeeeee :D
sure, some hard times came along the way but I'm keeping my head up high. I'm trying to not let learning and education stress me out. no, I don't want to be a stressed-out person.
mm, I have no doubt that April could be awesome too :D

my desktop freaking crashed! some important things in there, all gone. BOOOOOO :
plus, my brother's laptop got some serious issues. haih. I did type out everything on Wednesday but somehow, everything just went missing. the laptop can't even restart normally -.-

it's not my fault this time. hehehe :P

lovess,

because i'm empty

I am on the verge of having my brain splitting into two what with debate and my unfinished folios. Constantly having morning migraines is just pure evil.

I think I'll post something better tomorrow.

Cheers, Khadijah.

Fly away freely.

If only I had the chance to escape. That would be awesome.